God Has Released My Joy

My original plan for last Thursday evening was to hold a gathering in my house with two couples who recently had quit our Cheng cell group. Instead, they invited me to go to a healing meeting in Breakthrough church together. Personally I did not have any specific healing to be prayed for, but to find out what it was like and to have fellowship, I joined them.

When the pastor prayed for me, he simply asked God to "release my joy". I wondered why, for I was always filled with joy since I had Jesus in my heart, and I judged that my face was often a smiling one rather than a sour one.

"God wants to give me more joy which is already abundant in my heart." I concluded.

Last Friday, I came back to Batu Pahat for the weekend. I told Mum, "If you're willing to follow me to the church service, I'll stay until Sunday afternoon or even Monday morning." (I usually go back to Melaka on early Sunday morning to be in CLA before the worship starts). This time, she did not say no.

Yesterday morning, when we climbed upstairs of Berean church, a lady shook our hands to welcome us. I remembered her face but I could not recall her name. She was a teacher of my former primary school whom I had not seen for twenty years! She recognised me only after I had introduced myself. Emotionally, I held her hand for a long time. What a joy to know that we both were now children of God!

The previous time I went there with PG, God gave us a lesson on giving. This time with Mum, the guest speaker Ps Martha preached about how to be let-go parents. I could not agree more that every time God sends us to the right place to listen to a tailor-made sermon.

The preacher also said, "We all go through afflictions. But no matter how big our tears are, they Bible says that God will wipe them away." I had told almost the same thing to Mum at home earlier when she was nagging about some past bitterness which made her cry. When I turned my head to look at her, she did not have much facial expression, nor did she react when the speaker asked us to say something to our neighbour. Nonetheless, I knew she was listening to the sermon with attention.

At the end, Ps Martha invited those who needed healing, improvement of relationships and personal salvation to walk to the altar so that she would pray for them. In the beginning nobody moved. I encouraged Mum to go out. She was too shy to stand in front of people in a new environment. Even when I assured her that I would go out with her together, she still shook her head.

I did not want to force Mum, so I made the first step. When I looked back at Mum, she was smiling to me. Then I closed my eyes and thanked God for opening Mum's heart so fast to agree to come to church with me. I could feel that more and more people were leaving their chairs. When I opened my eyes again, Mum was standing on my right! I was so overjoyed at her presence beside me that I burst into tears.

Ps Martha asked Mum if she would accept Jesus as her Saviour. Mum hesitated a bit. So, the pastor said gently, "Would you just give Jesus a chance to live in your heart and let Him do the job in your life? If you're willing..."

When I heard Mum's voice saying "Our Father in Heaven, I want to be in Your family and be Your daughter. I don't know Your Son Jesus yet but I would like to know Him. I invite Jesus to live in my heart and be my Saviour. When I read the Bible, let Jesus jump to me and speak to me...", I laid my hand on her shoulder and sobbed uncontrollably like running tap water! Mum's eyes were also wet. I had begun to commit myself to Jesus last year and had been praying for my family's salvation. It was already a miracle for me to see Mum in a church for a Sunday service. It had been even more unthinkable for me to hear Mum praying in Jesus' name, though she was just repeating after the preacher.

After the prayer, Ps Martha said to Mum, "Now you're a newly born baby in God's family. May you let go your burdens more and more and feel lighter and lighter during your walk with Jesus."

Later, I learnt that my former teacher was the one who had invited Mum to join me and be prayed for, as she was wondering why I had left Mum behind. At first Mum was still reluctant, finally God softened her heart.

When we went home, Mum said to me, "I don't want to have commitment now. Don't consider me as a Christian yet and don't say that other gods are bad."

I answered, "Since you warned me last time, I don't criticize other gods, right? I just hope you to know more and more how good our God is and realize that God is our Father in Heaven. If you want to continue to worship the ancestors or observe events of other religions, I'll also not say anything against you. Whether you believe God or not, only God knows. Faith produces joy, not burden."

I will not push Mum to do anything for God before she knows Him. What I am going to do is to keep praying that her heart be open and that other Bereanese would minister to her through their contact, fellowship and testimonies. I believe that once the seed is sown on the right ground, God will continue to let the plant grow in His will and schedule.

This morning, I also prayed with Mum for the first time and left her a Chinese bible before my departure to Melaka. On the way to campus, I thought of those days I used to cry when thinking of Dad. These two years, I always smiled but had not really laughed or cried for anything. I suddenly remembered that prayer of last Thursday and began to understand it. I had missed to interprete the word "released".

God had released my joy within three days, through my tears shed at Berean church.