I Confessed To God The Desire Of My Heart

When I was in my early twenties, I wished I would get married at 25. Later I postponed the ideal age to 28. As I was approaching end twenties, there was no sign of a suitable candidate. None of those who had shown an interest in me was anything like the husband I was dreaming about. I began to think it was also fine to have a life partner when I would be in my thirties. When I reached 30, I still desired a husband. In my friends and family members' eyes, I seemed not to bother about marriage. But I never denied to man nor to God that I would consider marriage if there was a life partner for me.

I agree with Elisabeth Elliot who said that being women, we have the extinguishable hope for recognition, response and protection.

Susan Tang in her book "Demands Of Love" wrote--

"Single ladies, do not be ashamed of your womanly needs and desire. One lady missionary friend kept asking me to pray for her so that she could overcome her 'evil' desire for a husband... First and foremost, it is a natural, not an evil, desire. Secondly, it cannot ever be cast out. It has to be expressed, surrendered or given up in worship and sacrificed to God. It then becomes very meaningful as God will then teach us how to have it sublimated in active ministry to Him and to others.

"There are many single ladies who keep denying that they want boyfriends or marriage... His (God) love and power cannot reach us if we are unreal. How can God move and help us if we do not even admit that the need is there?

"One of the reasons why some single ladies do not receive what they pray for may be because outwardly they deny with their mouths they need to get married while inwardly in their hearts, they are desperate. In the Christian life, we confess with the mouth what is in the heart. Should there be a disagreement between the heart and the mouth, we will not receive because we are being unreal."

After I met Ray last year, he told me that he had started praying for a life partner five years earlier. He had even written down his prayer. It was as direct as "Dear Father God, I want a wife..." What a real man!

God always knows the desire of our heart. Nevertheless we still need to confess it to Him who will grant us our wish according to His will and timing.