We Were There At Bersih 2.0!

9th July 2011 was a day to be remembered, especially because I was with Ray at Bersih 2.0.

28th April 2012 will be another day to be remembered, especially because I will be with Ray again at Bersih 3.0.

See you there!

I Confessed To God The Desire Of My Heart

When I was in my early twenties, I wished I would get married at 25. Later I postponed the ideal age to 28. As I was approaching end twenties, there was no sign of a suitable candidate. None of those who had shown an interest in me was anything like the husband I was dreaming about. I began to think it was also fine to have a life partner when I would be in my thirties. When I reached 30, I still desired a husband. In my friends and family members' eyes, I seemed not to bother about marriage. But I never denied to man nor to God that I would consider marriage if there was a life partner for me.

I agree with Elisabeth Elliot who said that being women, we have the extinguishable hope for recognition, response and protection.

Susan Tang in her book "Demands Of Love" wrote--

"Single ladies, do not be ashamed of your womanly needs and desire. One lady missionary friend kept asking me to pray for her so that she could overcome her 'evil' desire for a husband... First and foremost, it is a natural, not an evil, desire. Secondly, it cannot ever be cast out. It has to be expressed, surrendered or given up in worship and sacrificed to God. It then becomes very meaningful as God will then teach us how to have it sublimated in active ministry to Him and to others.

"There are many single ladies who keep denying that they want boyfriends or marriage... His (God) love and power cannot reach us if we are unreal. How can God move and help us if we do not even admit that the need is there?

"One of the reasons why some single ladies do not receive what they pray for may be because outwardly they deny with their mouths they need to get married while inwardly in their hearts, they are desperate. In the Christian life, we confess with the mouth what is in the heart. Should there be a disagreement between the heart and the mouth, we will not receive because we are being unreal."

After I met Ray last year, he told me that he had started praying for a life partner five years earlier. He had even written down his prayer. It was as direct as "Dear Father God, I want a wife..." What a real man!

God always knows the desire of our heart. Nevertheless we still need to confess it to Him who will grant us our wish according to His will and timing.

Jom Shopping

Last month, I just moved to Selangor. This Saturday 14 of April, I already had the privilege to participate in community work. It was part of the senior citizen programme by the Selangor government.

The venue was Econsave at Pearl Point, Jalan Klang Lama.

The special assistants to the Selangor State Legislative Assemblyman of Bukit Gasing N34 Constituency and volunteers from the Old Town Residents' Association committee were there as early as 9am to make sure that the registration tables were set up.

I wasn't familiar with the roads yet. So I didn't go there alone.

Actually I was following Ray. We had tried to rely on our newly bought GPS to arrive at the destination. My husband was more trustworthy than the gadget that wasn't 100% updated of the latest changes of the roads.

Wini who works closely with the Bukit Gasing community was the one who had called upon volunteers from MLC

to help in "Jom Shopping", a programme launched in July 2011.

 

Those who are 60 years old and above, fulfilled all the requirements and had pre-registered with the service centres would be entitled to a RM100 shopping voucher. The person in charge of that morning's event had printed out coupons to temporarily replace the vouchers to redeem at the checkout counters.

More than 150 senior citizens had been called to shop that morning. The first batch started to appear at the beginning of the first time slot at about 9.45am.

Wini, Jessica, Jeff, Ray and I were manning the registration counter. Other volunteers were helping either to chaperon seniors, to man checkout counter and help pack purchased items for seniors to avoid holding up the line, or to pack and hand out goodie bags to seniors as they exit checkout counter. Devi, one of the special assistants to the Selangor state assemblymen who was sitting next to me, had given us the instructions.

Each one of us was in charge of a list of names according to the alphabetical order.

We needed to verify their names and IC numbers in the given list, give them a coupon and a tagged sticker each, remind them that they could buy anything free at Econsave within RM100 only, tell them to redeem the voucher and a goodie bag at certain checkout counter inside the supermarket. Ray and I always ended our explanation with "Enjoy your shopping!" or "Happy shopping!". On seeing the uncles and aunties' smiling faces before they even began their shopping, we could feel their joy as if we were the ones who had received the vouchers.

It was smooth overall. Once awhile there were other senior shoppers who approached us to ask us what was going on. There were also some who had been urged by their friends to come to try their luck without pre-registration. Some had had received calls personally from either Devi or Rajan from the service centre but their names weren't in the list. In these cases, Rajan quickly checked their status and Devi would issue a coupon to them. Having numerous experiences with this Jom Shopping programme, Devi who was taking care of those whose names start with K or L was very well organised although she was the busiest among us. Passionate about her job and despite daily challenges, she has been working as YB Hannah Yeoh's assistant for four years.

The Subang Jaya assemblywoman YB Hannah Yeoh and the PJ Selatan MP YB Hee Loy Sian dropped by in front of the counter at different times. It was the first time I saw them in person. The last batch of the senior citizens came from 12pm onwards. We stayed at the counter until 1pm.

After the few hours' work, most of us were hungry. So our next activity was--Jom eating!

Single Ladies, Be Content And Enjoy!

Seven, eight years ago when I was working in Alor Gajah, I hung out swimming or shopping with a colleague who was also my age. She was dating a married man who couldn't promise her any future. She saw her younger sisters and some of her other lady friends having a boyfriend then getting married one by one. She told me that she sometimes drove half an hour to the beach alone just to cry when she felt miserable being single. Later the relationship ended. After she got a new car which consumed more petrol, she hardly went to beach. When she was down again, she would cry in her room instead, thinking of herself pitiful because she had no husband.

I was quite surprised by her self-pity. Being a single also then, I used to enjoy my life with books and friends. Later when I moved to my own house, I felt very good staying at home alone after work and enjoyed receiving guests on weekends. Two years ago, I was very much involved in helping out in a care home that I was hardly at home and I enjoyed the friendship of the children as well as other co-workers. I was serving out of a cheerful heart, not loneliness.

I often said to my other single girl friends or those who were concerned about my marital status, "I'm very happy being a single person. If I'm married, I'll be very happy in a different way, not happier. I don't need to envy those who are married." 

After I read the booklet "Singleness" by RBC Ministries,

I understood I was content because I totally accepted my singleness.

I especially like this--

The biblical teaching about singleness can be summarized by the following statements:

1. We need one another. We need companionship and relationships--whether single or married.

2. God accepts and respects singleness. Nothing in the Bible indicates that a person who chooses not to marry has any less worth than a person who marries.

3. Singleness has advantage for the person who wants to give his or her life to God's service.

4. God gives wonderful gifts. One of them is the ability and choice to be single for many years or for a lifetime.

5. God is all-sufficient. His sufficiency sustains the adult single. It's okay to want to be married, but it's far more important, single or married, to lean on the sufficiency of Christ and walk in obedience to Him.

This year before I got married, I had an afternoon tea with that colleague whom I hadn't met for quite some time. She was still single and busied herself with work. I shared with her my love testimony and encouraged her to continue to hope for a life partner while fully enjoying her singleness. Her eyes shone as she listened to me.

Now that I've officially said bye-bye to my singleness, I'm still a very happy person, in a different way.

How Could I Know Who To Marry?

When Dad was around, he used to say to me, "This so and so is a single lady. That so and so too... They seem to live their lives well. It's better for you to remain single than to simply marry any man." I bore this in mind.

However, he never told me what kind of man I should be looking for to be my future husband. I thought as long as I liked the person and the person liked me, I could consider him.

A few years ago, a colleague gave me a booklet by RBC Ministries "How Can I Know Who To Marry?".

There were biblical principles to be applied-- 1.Choose a believer, 2. Trust God for His timing, 3. Consider character qualities including willingness to serve, humility, sexual purity, devotion to Christ, right priorities, right beliefs, commitment to church, loving attitude, self-control, honesty, beauty below the skin, responsibility, good relationship with parents, 4. Use wisdom to look in the appropriate place, ask the Lord for help, don't base your decision on one "sign", seek advice, 5. Think Ahead of God's view of marriage, the responsibilities of the husband and the wife, sexual faithfulness and distinctive roles. I bore this in mind.

Later during an evangelical meeting, a speaker shared that she had prayed for a future husband who would love God more than love her. I bore this in mind.

In Richard's classes, I learnt that love is not a feeling, but a decision, that a real man should reject passivity, accept the responsibilities, lead courageously and expect higher reward from God. I bore this in mind.

I also read another book "Boundaries In Marriage" by Dr Henry Cloud and Dr John  Townsend. I realised that as a complete person, I wasn't to marry "the other half", but another complete person who also has the ability to connect emotionally, be vulnerable and share feelings, have an appropriate sense of power and assertiveness, say no, have initiative and drive, have at least a minimal amount of organization, be real, but not perfect, accept imperfections and have grace and forgiveness, grieve, think for oneself and express one's opinions, learn and grow, take risks, grasp and use his talents, be responsible and follow through, be free and not controlled by external or internal factors, be sexual, be spiritual, have a moral sense and have an intellectual life. I bore this in mind.

In end of 2010 I read Elisabeth Elliot's "Passion And Purity". The author wrote that as she was growing up, her mother advised her to let her suitors do the chasing. Her father counseled his four sons never to say "I love you" to a woman until they were ready to follow immediately with "Will you marry me?" Nor should they think of saying "Will you marry me?" unless they had first said "I love you." How much pain and confusion would be averted if men followed that rule. I bore this in mind.

In 2011, I knew who to marry.

Michan Married!

Last year I was less active in blogging and the first three months of this year I was totally silent. Actually I didn't abandon writing. I was just busy with the relationship building with my future husband and with our wedding preparation.

Who was my bridegroom then?

I invite you to read my love testimony--

My Michan Petite Blog
I started this blog in May 2008 to record God’s presence in my life. I often said to God, “Father God, though I don’t know who exactly my readers are, I’ll keep writing to testify Your goodness. If my testimonies can touch any person’s heart, I’ll be contented.” Later, after hearing the story of a friend who had met her future husband at a shopping mall, I also wished that I would meet my future husband through my blog since I liked writing.

MLM And EFC Classes By MLC
I had been attending the Million Leaders Mandate and Externally Focused Church classes in Melaka since the last quarter of 2008. The classes are conducted by RM Rajoo and Piek See from Marketplace Leadership Centre who travel from Petaling Jaya twice a month. On 23th and 24th April 2010, I went to the EFC Leadership Summit in Penang as a participant.

BOTM Classes
Richard launched the New Eve curriculum for women in Melaka in May 2010. The first part was Battlefield Of The Mind. One month later was Authentic Manhood for men in a different time slot. He sometimes said in our women’s class, “Those who are single must get your future husband from the men’s class.” I took this advice very seriously though I couldn’t identify any potential man for me—The younger ones were too young for me while the older ones were all married.

An Older Woman’s Counsel
I joined a church camp in June 2010. A sister invited me to her room for fellowship. At 69 years old, she was still single. She shared with me love stories of her younger days and how Jesus had spoken to her through the Scriptures that He would be her only Husband. I said to her, “Maybe God wants me to be single too.” She looked at me and said, “I feel that you’ll get married.” Then she prayed for me and taught me to start praying for my future life partner so that I would recognize him when he appeared, just as John the Baptist had recognized Jesus when He came to him.

Projek Harap
Richard and Piek See shared with us the God-given vision Projek Harap to give preschool education to those in need. As the first centre was started in Melaka, I helped to promote the project by blogging about their events.

His First Comment In My Blog
On 9th January 2011, he dropped his first comment in one of my blog entries about Projek Harap. I was glad that a reader had revealed himself to tell me that he enjoyed reading my blog updates and wanted to connect with me. What surprised me more was that this person was the Authentic Manhood Kuala Lumpur/Petaling Jaya coordinator, which means from the men’s class. I typed a simple reply to thank him.

FaceBook Friends
A week later, he sent me a request to add me in FaceBook and I accepted.

Our First Exchange Of Emails
Very soon, he sent me a first greeting email. I replied with joy in my heart.

Prophecies Of My Future Life Partner
During a church service in end January 2011, I went to the altar with two questions to ask God in my heart. The second one was “Do You want me to remain single forever? If yes, then I’ll just obey and set my mind to focus on my mission for the rest of my life.” A sister laid hands on me and said the answer to my first question. Then she continued to pray, “Don’t look at your left. Don’t look at your right. Just look at Jesus. The Lord will bring a life partner to you.” I was amazed.

Our Second Exchange Of Emails
The following week, I received a second email from him sharing with me his experience of coming to know Christ through MLC. I replied again. I was curious to find out more about him. So I surfed FaceBook and realized that we shared a lot of common interests especially reading, writing, travelling and learning languages.

SMS And Phone Calls
I was back to my hometown Batu Pahat for the Chinese New Year break. He began to contact me by SMS, later followed by phone calls. I enjoyed our conversations very much because of our similar personality, the interesting questions he asked and the topics on the same teaching from MLC we had. I learned that he had also attended the EFC Leadership Summit in 2010 but I couldn’t recall having seen him there and then. He expressed his desire to visit me in Melaka after Chinese New Year.

His Visit To Me In Melaka
On 19th February 2011, he drove to Melaka to meet up with me in person for the first time. I spent the day with him in town being his tour guide. I liked his friendly demeanour.

His Confession Of Love And My Positive Response
He kept in touch with me by phone. I grew fonder of this interesting and humourous guy who took the initiative to progressively confess his love for me. As a result I always responded to him positively without hesitation.

Fulfillment Of The Prophecy And Of My Dream
God gave me the confirmation that he was the one He had brought to me. And My blog had touched the heart of this real man from the men’s class.

Now you should know who he is. We just got married on 31st March 2012.

I give thanks to the Lord for this divine marriage arrangement. Hallelujah!